27 maj 2020

Personality isn´t permanent

The other day I got a proposal from author and entrepreneur Benjamin Hardy. I subscribe to his mailing list since November last year when I wrote this blog post summarizing his "Culture Wall". The proposal was:
- Do you want to read and review my new book "Personality isn´t permanent" before it comes out June 16?
- I said Yes!

The book is interesting for everyone interested in personal development and how you create your Future Self.  I believe it is well written and enlightening in many ways. Buy the book here.

My own focus linked to personal development is all about developing your Emotional Intelligence (EQ). This book actually talks a lot of personal development by developing your emotional skills. So, the book totally resonates with my way of looking into personality and personal development.

"Life is a journey - keep developing and focus on creating new better versions of yourself"

My way of reviewing books, articles, TED-seminars and so on are by doing a summary of the content. I extract some exformative statements from the book that resonates with me - adding my own formatting. Enjoy:



The most fundamental aspect of your humanity is your ability to make choices and stand by those choices, what Viktor Frankl called the last of human freedoms, “To choose one’s own way.” 

This is how successful people live: They become who they want to be by orienting their life toward their goals, not as a repeat of the past; by acting bravely as their future selves, not by perpetuating who they formerly were. 




“Personality” is far more nuanced and complex than an overly simplified generalization or category. It’s not an isolated trait uninfluenced by context, culture, behavior, and a thousand other factors. 

Becoming psychologically flexible is part of becoming more emotionally evolved as a human being. Emotional development is at the core of understanding of personality.

Developing a powerful relationship isn’t about “finding,” but collaboratively creating and becoming new people together, through the relationship. Both parties must adjust and change, becoming a more united whole that transcends the sum of the parts.

Confidence is the basis of imagination—which is required for seeing and choosing a future beyond your current capability and circumstances. 


Trauma is at the core of who we are as people.
If we transform it, we can become unstoppable in what we’re trying to accomplish. If 
we don’t transform our trauma, then our very lives become its by-product.



The glue that holds our body, memories, and identity together is our emotions. Like memory, we tend to think of emotions as abstract, residing only in our minds. They are not. Emotions are physical. 

To make powerful change in our lives, we need to change at the subconscious level. Otherwise, the change will not be permanent. When you change your subconscious, your personality will change as well. 

There is no right or wrong way to fast. However, fasting from food and caloric beverages for sixteen to twenty-four hours is a great practice for healing and connecting mentally and physically.

Putting yourself in new environments, around new people, and taking on new roles is one of the quickest way to change your personality, for better or worse. 


From a relational worldview, nothing can be understood outside of its context. In fact, it is the context or “relationship between” that determines the meaning of the thing.


  1. Selective ignorance is not the avoidance of learning. It’s simply the intelligence of knowing that with certain things and people, the juice will never be worth the squeeze. It’s knowing what to avoid. 

A forcing function is any situational element that forces you to take action and produce a result. Forcing functions put you in a situation where the only option is the desired option.

Your personality can change in dramatic ways. The life of your dreams can eventually become something you take for granted— your new normal. Once you arrive at your wildest and most imaginative future self, take the confidence and faith you gain and do it again, but this time bigger and bigger. 

Finally - a video clip from TEDxOrlando. Benjamin talking about "How to turn difficult situations into progress":



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